A journeyman's sidestep

quinta-feira, 11 de fevereiro de 2010

"(...) and it came to pass that, at the end of the road, I stalled. And I looked up. Then I saw clouds, a gingerlike lining in the raindrops and a strange glare. I stood there, without reaction. Nothing happened.
I continued further from the road (its end was not as dramatic as I anticipated). And I pondered on the nature of my sorrow. And whether I would like to go back and perhaps change the tone of my voice at that unspecific defining moment.
Yes, I would have.
The clouds trembled and the glare fainted. It was dark. A smooth wailing sound overpowered my eardrums, entangling me in its bliss. Bereaved, I stalled again. Sorrow, due yesterday, approaching uncalled for. My knees shaking. My breath, high-revving. I was no longer here. The glare diminished once more. I thought I was on the road, but I lie in a bed of stars. Illusions of sorrow go on and on, but I'm no longer convinced they are illusions, dellusions perhaps.
It could be true that clouds taste of ginger. It could also be true that stars tingle the soul whenever we choose to lie upon them.

But the end was there, and I drifted to a sidestep. Lost. Heartrended. Broken into quantum sparks. My choices still unmaking me. The rain, new-born, spiking my eyes, leaving me blinded but unfolded.

I stop. Drop my knees. Let fear take over. Perhaps thunder can cure me. Perhaps lightning will blind me until I ascend to heaven. The road begins in a mountain and I have no map to tell me whether it is far or near.

So goes the tale. A journeyman endures suffering to cherish his travel. Then it dawns on him that the travel is beyond a mere goal: it is a tale in itself, a fate made of fates, melded by fury and a sort of madness. You decide to travel and forget, but the world never forgets you.

Now the clouds drift apart by a hair, just enough to see cobalt. Ginger is gone, now it is grapefruit. The road is upside down. No. It's just backsided.

The rain stops. I return to the end of the road and stare at a wall. Lightning rods dance with thunder waves while I wait.

Yes. I would have. But now I have to atone for my errors.

...or so goes the tale.

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